Redneck Computer Dictionary



LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter

LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood

MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove

DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood of the truck

MEGA HERTZ: When your not keerful gittin the farwood

FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood

RAM: That thar thing what splits the farwood

HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time or afta a lotta rain

PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time or afta a lotta rain

WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it's cold outside

UNIX: Where you have to grease every 2000 miles

MAC's: Great for makin hard cider

SCREEN: Great for keepin skeeters and black flies outa tha house

BYTE: Whut them dang flys do

CHIP: Munchies fer watchin the TV

MICRO CHIP: The stuff in the bottom of the bag

MODEM: Whatcha did to the hay fields

DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife

LAPTOP: Whar the kitty sleeps

SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifes

MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in the barn

MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn ruf

PORT: Fancy name for wine

ENTER: Northerner talk fer, "Y'all come in an ' set a spell."

RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya cain't member whut ya paid fer the pickup truck


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